Careful, the white knight might be a frog!

Careful, the white knight might be a frog!

The White Knight is a fictional character in Lewis Carroll's book "Through the Looking-Glass".  As imagined in John Tenniel's illustrations for the Alice stories, The White Knight has echoes of John Millais's Sir Isumbras at the Ford in which an armor clad knight saves the day for two peasant children.  Literally, sweeping them off their feet onto the back of his horse, The knight carries the children and their heavy burdens across the ford, all is saved.  In much the same way, The White Knight in Carroll's book saves Alice from his opponent, the Red Knight.  The White Knight comes to the rescue.  The reality of this imagery is unsure.  However, it owes much to the work of Victorian writers who captured the ideal of the chivalrous knight, the "knight in shining armour".


A popular phrase heard in the modern dating and romance scene is, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince."  It is used to encourage those who still seek true love.  However, the underlying concept is that a frog is someone who is not a good match in a relationship.  In Aesop's Fables, the darker and uglier facets of life are revealed, in the form of a frog to a young women.  A frog does not help you grow to your full potential.

Neither senerio,  kissing frogs nor waiting on the White Knight  is good.  However, if we are longing and waiting for The White Knight to come and sweep us  off our feet the question of "why" must be asked. The implication is that we are not taking responsibility for our emotions,  life and success. It becomes a habit of letting others define who we are as a person.   When we become emotionally dependent on others we do not affirm our authentic selves.

In order to take responsibility for our emotions we must first acknowledge them and allow our selves to feel each emotion. We must not project our past wounds onto others in an attempt to find emotional reassurance within ourselves. Whether it is a good day or a bad day we must take responsibility for how we feel and take care of ourselves by acknowledging negative and positive feelings when they surface, knowing that we are in complete control of how we decide to react in any situation.

We experience emotional independence when we take responsibility for our own feelings and are able to nurture and love ourselves. We can achieve this when we stop allowing our feelings to overwhelm us, learn how to look at them objectively for what they are and start to recognize and listen to our own intuition.  We are not governed by our feelings. Our feelings guide us, but we are not led around by them. We recognize our positive feelings of love, peace and joy are letting us know that we are taking loving care of ourselves, and that our negative feelings of anger, fear, hurt, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame and so on are letting us know that we are abandoning ourselves.  Our emotions are our perception of stressors.  They are not always based in fact or truth. Yes, our emotions can even lie to us.

Many people, men and women, fall into the problem of "needing" someone else to make them feel happy. This behavior plays out in many ways, continuous text messages, phone calls, crisis after crisis, a demand for nurturing and comfort from others.  We struggle to take emotional responsibility for ourselves.  Many are conditioned to believe that happiness, self- worth, and self confidence has to come from outside ourselves.

Therefore, when we are longing and waiting for The White Knight to come and sweep us  off our feet, we fail to recognize the "frog-like" traits  of The White Knight.  Just because the The White Knight saves us from our selves does not mean that a perfect match has been made.  Be careful, the The White Knight might be a frog.

...Even As Those Around Us Let Us Down...

The following verses are the first five verses from chapter one of Genesis, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.” These verses offer a phenomenal promise to us. It is the promise that God has separated the dark from the light. From a metaphysical perspective, God created daytime and nighttime, the rhythm of our daily lives has been set. Metaphorically speaking, we no longer have to walk in darkness because our God has brought forth the light for us, has made this light known to us in ways that we would have never known before. The Great Creator has overcome the darkness. “In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” (John 1:4-5) However, this is not even half of what is so intriguing about these five verses. The word that is translated hovering, “the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters,” is the same word that is used in the Hebrew language for brooding. This is brooding as in a mother hen broods over her chicks. This image of the Spirit of God brooding over her chicks is awesome. The mother hen brings her chicks under her wing for protection and nurturing. We as children of God are gathered under the wing of the Spirit of God, for protection but especially for nurturing. Jesus cries out in the New Testament, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” In the book of Hosea, we hear these words, “Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I who took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.” And one more from the book of Deuteronomy, “Like the eagle that stirs up its nest, and hovers over its young, God spreads wings to catch you, and carries you on pinions.”

In the book of Jeremiah God spoke to the young prophet these words, “…Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you…” The book of Psalms offers, “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (139:14) David writes a Psalm of fearless trust in God when he wrote Psalm 27. David echoes back the brilliance of creation, “The Lord is my light…whom shall I fear…The Lord is the defense of my life…whom shall I dread?” David’s confidence in God is uplifting when he writes, “…My heart will not fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this I shall be confident…” One verse that stands out in this Psalm from Kind David is verse ten. David writes, “…for my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up.” He finishes this Psalm with, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord…Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.” The promise is the God is with us not just as some omnipresence, hanging out in the sky, not as some impersonal, untouchable, other being. God, Emmanuel, is with us as a mother hen nurturing her children. God is with taking us up, even as those around us let us down, those whom we expect to care for us, like a mother or father, brothers, husbands, sisters. When they let us down, God receive us; take us up into his loving arms. Picture the loving mother who takes that baby to her cheek, whose love is so genuine and authentic. God is holding you close cheek-to-cheek today. God has spread his wings and is carrying you. God is hovering over you, brooding over you, gathering you under “her” wing, loving you like a little child, taking much pleasure in you today. God and the angels are dancing for joy over you today, for you were fearfully and wonderfully made.

Sticks, Stones and Self Talk

Do you remember the childhood saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”  It is true that sticks and stones can break our bones.  It is also the case that sticks and stones will leave visible scars as a reminder of the hurt that they caused.  However, words can hurt just as much as sticks and stones.  Yet, it is easier to hide because they are not visible scars, right?  Wrong!  Invisible scars are often easier to spot because of the behavior they cause.  Damage to the mind can cause far more harm than physical pain.

There are many people walking around with invisible scars caused by words, verbal abuse.  They live with anger, fear, and guilt.  Verbal abuse is language that’s harmful to one’s spirit.  Invisible Scars damage both body and mind.  Sometimes people don't even realize this verbal abuse underlies the cause of their own misery. It has become a lifestyle in which they have become accustomed.  Often the worst perpetrator is ourselves.

We don’t realize how often we verbally abuse ourselves.  We say hurtful things in our negative self-talk. We fail to realize how much our negative self-talk affects our experience.  In the same way, positive self-talk can affect our experience for the better.  When we verbal give ourselves positive messages, we begin to function better in our daily lives.  Our relationship improve and our outlook on life changes.  Maybe the saying should be “Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will make or break me.”  Let the positive self-talk begin.